Move Forward

Bonjour!

It's around 1.40AM on a Friday when I'm tap tap tapping on my keyboard, furiously typing this entry. I know it's late and I should be asleep, but for some reason sleep has been such a foreign thing to me and I haven't been getting enough of it. On another note, I haven't been in a great groove. I don't know why but my days have been spent just rolled up in my blanket like a burrito with my lights out and the only time you'll see my face when it's not cooped up in my room is when I go out for prayers or when I'm starving. But anyhow, let's move on from that.

Exam results were supposed to come out today, but I found out my results earlier because I checked through an app before the admin or something like that shut that access down. So I still have some friends who can't check their results yet. What I can say is, I am glad I finally passed that paper I've been dreading and I passed it quite well, I might say. That means next semester will be a black and white semester for me. On one hand, I'm so glad that I'm finally another step closer to getting that law degree. But then again, there are so many terrors that could come up at the very last minute, who knows what life could throw at me. But I guess that's the whole point of stepping out of my comfort zone, huh?

So as preparation for the new semester, I've already went out and got myself a new suit and a couple white shirts. Aside from that, I also took the initiative of buying fabric and sending them off to a tailor which shall be ready by the end of the month. The new semester starts in the first week of March, so I'm going to have to make a move on buying that flight ticket and this semester is a bit of a bummer coz I can't extend my holidays since I have to be in the faculty on the first day for orientation  and briefing. In all honesty, I was planning on flying back to Shah Alam a day or two earlier that my usual fly days so that I could settle myself down properly before this hectic new life I'm about to embark, but it seems like I really don't have the heart to leave home any earlier than I have to. So I'll have to recheck my schedule and talk about flight arrangements with dad when he comes home this weekend.

It's not something I'm proud of, but I have to admit I've been in a funky mood lately. Like I said earlier, I've been in a groove lately and surprisingly enough this funk includes easily being snappy at the smallest things. Maybe it's my defence mechanism. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't stressing out about the new semester. I've got a lot of things to think about and I'm not sure how I'm gonna handle it. This upcoming semester is going to be a hectic one and I'm worried about coping with a busy schedule and balancing the stress of workload with my homesickness. Not to mention how my new schedule and lifestyle is going to affect my relationship. I know it's not wise to worry about by problems before they even come my way, but I can't help it.

The best I can do for now I prepare myself the best that I can and pray that Allah eases everything for me. Ameen.

x's and o's