Hello 2020

Bonjour!

On another post of “I’m sorry for the procrastination...”, as usual I apologize for letting my laziness get the better of me and making me skip an entire year of blogging. Life has been.... pretty hectic. 

But to start this post off, I’d like to wish everyone a Happy New Year! It’s finally 2020 and there are still no flying cars to be seen (boy, did our generation get that prediction wrong lol). As per usual, it’s that time of the year to reset resolutions and reflect on the previous year’s resolution to see what was actually achieved and what was left to be carried forward into the new year. This year I am having second doubts and conflicted thoughts about resolutions. I mean, people rarely get them done but they still make new ones every year (where most of them are just previous years’ resolutions that are carried forward anyways). So whilenI ponder whether or not I will be dedicating a post for my new year’s resolutions, I’d like to leave a little update on my life.

First of all, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy on 16 June 2019. To be honest I was half way thru a post dedicated to the story about his birth but as always, procrastination caught up and then motherhood didn’t make it any easier for me to dig up some extra time to sit and type, so that post is currently collecting dust in my drafts box. Hopefully I will come around to getting it done with (does this count as a resolution?). 

Secondly, 2019 was not kind to me in the career division. I applied a number of non legal related positions but yet, dis not manage to get a job despite getting a couple of interviews done with. So in the end, last December, I found myself submitting an application for a chambering position at a government department and I am still waiting for a response. Let’s hope that goes well for me. 

My 2019 was basically focused on friends and family. My best friend in the whole wide world came home back in September and we got the chance to spend some quality tine together and I also managed to go on a short vacation to KL and meet up with the gang from my uni days. There were more family trips and events this year as well. All in all, it was a great year. A simple, humble yet full of blessings and good vibes kind of year. I don’t think I could’ve asked for a better way to spend the entire year. 

In general, 2020 is the year where I plan to make a come back. I have high hopes and dreams for 2020. I just hope they fall into line and work out well for me and my loved ones. You know what? Maybe I will make a post about my 2020 New Year resolutions and wish list. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe. Til the next post, xoxo. 

2019 Resolution

Bonjour!

Scrap the whole "new year, new me" saying. Forget about reinventing myself because I am over that notion and I am focusing on self improvement.  To allow such self improvement to happen, I've decided to list down a number of realistic resolutions. I know it's the end of January and people usually set out their resolution in the beginning of the year but I am on board the "January is atrial month" train, hence, we are where we are. Without any more dilly dally, let's get into this.

1. Be a better wife.
So far I've been married for 5 months. I have been blessed to be given a husband who makes this resolution easier for me. He isn't fussy and he does most of his things by himself and he isn't demanding. If he wants me to do something he asks instead of orders which I highly appreciate. Under this resolution includes my desire to improve my cooking and baking skills to make sure that the hubby has a full stomach on most days. As far as this year has pass, I'm doing pretty good. attempted some dishes I never did before. Failed a couple of times, but most of it was a success. By the end of this year, I hope to be able to brush up on my kitchen and house keeping skills.

2. To be a great mom.
Currently entering my 5th month of pregnancy. Time really does fly. I feel like it was just yesterday that I found out I was pregnant. The journey hasn't been entirely delightful, but let me express my gratitude for not being haunted by the terrors of morning sickness. Although, I must say that even without the morning sickness, all the other symptoms that comes attached with the joys of carrying a child isn't a walk in the park. But I have been leaning to just enjoy the process. I am hoping a smooth delivery and a happy, beautiful and healthy baby. As of right now we are still unsure of the gender of the baby but either way, we already know the child will be blessed with a pair of parents who loves it dearly. I've been investing a lot of time researching and reading and gathering as much information as I can about maintaining a healthy pregnancy, preparing for when baby comes, browsing baby names, etc. Of course I'll try to update as much as I can about the pregnancy on this blog. (or maybe my lifestyle blog).

3. Get an income.
I heard back about the job interview that I went in for last year. I didn't get the job. As devastating as I am about it, I have learned to just accept that it wasn't meant to be. This year I am not going to be pushing and pulling myself apart to get a job because I understand the most that I can do is give effort in applying for positions and attending interviews but it is not in my control whether or not I actually get a job. So instead of being so persistent on "getting a job" I'm changing my focus to getting an income. I applied for a part time transcribing job online and have yet to hear from them. I've started selling some stuff online, both pre loved and brand new. I'm doing anything and trying anything to gain an income. With a baby on the way, I have been worrying about financials more than ever. But it's okay, I'm telling myself to take it one step at a time.

4. Be more proactive, productive.
I have had a bunch of projects that I have been wanting to get on hop of but I keep of pushing them back. Mostly it's because this pregnancy has my body up and down on energy depending on the hormone levels for the day. But I have been consistent on researching baby related stuff. So the final resolution this year is to just go out there and do what needs to be done.

And there you have it. A list of my realistic resolutions for the year. I decided to keep it simple and achieve-able. Something that I know I can tick off with a smile on my face by the end of the year. I also decided to do a monthly resolution list as well but that list I'll keep to myself for now.

x's and o's

2018 : A Recap

Bonjour!

The last time I was tap tap tapping on my laptop was when I was anxiously counting days to end my bachelorette life. Now, it's almost the end of 2018 and so much has happened since then. Of course, I apologize for once again neglecting this blog of mine but the last couple of months has been a whirlwind of changes- both expected and unexpected. Therefore, I'd like to dedicate this post to 2018 and all the ups and downs of it all. What a better way to end the year than to count blessings, eyh?

1. Finishing Law School.
2018 was the year I ended my 4 and a half years of law school journey. Pre-graduation, I mean. I packed my stuff, flew back home and started getting busy with intensive wedding planning. It was the year I said goodbye to the friends I made in the short span of time as well as the people that I once called my friends but eventually life had better stories for us to be in instead of being in each other's tale. Looking back at how eager and excited I was to get Law School done and over with, flashbacks of emotions come rushing in. The chaotic life of chasing due dates and mock trials and hearings and tests and replacement classes. Those dreadful all nighters at the firm and getting sleep at 3AM just to have to be back at the firm at 5AM the same day. But I went through those tough days with the most amazing group of people to ever exist in the world. Que, Cah, Fadhil, and Shaff being among those people. I cannot explain in words how blessed I am to have met them in my final year because without them, life would have been so unbearable. Our crazy inside jokes, innuendos, cursing, yelling, screaming, sleeping over at the firm, all of it. If I could do it all again with the exact same group of people, I would. I honestly with all my heart and soul definitely would. That's just the people I spent my final year with. Ima and Irich were people who was with me from the very beginning. Well, more Ima compared to Irich because me and Irich had a rough start but hey she is still the angel that I never expected God to throw my way in my journey. I feel like I owe so many people for so many things that they've done for me to a point where I feel like there is nothing that I could ever do to repay their kindness. The best I can do from afar is send them the best of prayers and smile as I watch them achieve all the success that they deserve in life.

2. Getting Married.
My solemnization was on 28th Septermber 2018 and it was as perfect as perfect could be. yes, there were hiccups here and there that made me cry the night before, but all of my troubles and stress went away just like that when I saw the S/O sitting there, waiting for me to sit on the dais so the ceremony could be started. Our wedding was beautiful. It was memorable, filled with love and nothing but warm and good vibes. I had friends come from all over the place just to attend my wedding and for that I am forever thankful. Crystal flew in from Japan, Que, Cah, Fadhil, and Ima flew in from Peninsular Malaysia and Pem was there with me to calm my nerves as well. The big family were so helpful and supportive and I cannot say enough words to express how grateful I am to be surrounded by loving people who are just so absolutely wonderful. On the same night we had our malam berinai and cake cutting ceremony. On 30th September 2018 it was the reception of my side followed by the groom's reception in KK on 6th October 2018. A month after that, on 4th November 2018 we had our final reception in Bogor. All in all, our wedding was a dream and after about 3 months of being married, I am happy.

3. Graduating.
After our wedding reception in KK and a couple of weeks before our reception in Bogor, I had my graduation ceremony to attend. I had a couple of minutes of being able to meet up with my best pals during my degree days and it was so much fun. Those short moments of celebrating our hard work and struggles meant so much. Managed to take some pictures with the gang and do some really quick catching up. I attended my graduation with mom, dad and the hubby. So grateful to have them there with me on the day.

4. Pregnant.
Yes, you read that right. Pregnant. As I'm typing this, I am 13 weeks pregnant which means I am in my second trimester. This was a much unexpected surprise and blessing. So far I've been to two appointments and alhamdulillah, lil raspberry (the hubby and I nicknamed the baby lil raspberry) is healthy. The last appointment I went to was last Saturday and we got to see lil raspberry move around and open and close it's hands. Oh the warmth that filled my heart. This pregnancy has been such an exciting thing yet overwhelming at the same time. Most probably because of my anxiety and my fear of the unknown. But I have set my mind to just go with it and cross the bridges that I fear when I get to them. For now, I am very thankful for this gift from God and all I hope is that lil raspberry will continue to grow to be a healthy and happy baby. Amin.

5. Job Interview
So some time around July I applied for a government position and after months of agonizingly waiting patiently, I finally got called for an interview just when I thought that there was no more hope left in that application. I went into the interview and gave everything I got and the best I can do now is to wait and leave the rest in God's hands. I really do hope I get the job offer soon because with a baby on the way and in the recent economy, being in a single income household isn't much of an option. So fingers crossed that I'll be kicking off the new year with a job offer that can at least help contribute to the household and put some moolah aside for rainy days as well.

All in all, it was a pretty eventful year filled with blessings, celebration and happiness. I have so many people to thank in 2018 including those who walked away from my life and made it even better than before. May 2019 be another year of endless blessings and happiness. Although, in my opinion, it's all about perspective. Even the worst of events could be a blessing if you look at it from the right angle. For 2018, I include the lessons and my downfalls as blessings for making me a wiser and stronger person. Next on my agenda? Resolutions. Stay tuned for that. =)

x's and o's

Less Than Three Months

Bonjour!

So the clock is ticking and I only realized today that I'm less than 3 months away from my wedding. The past week I was busy with Raya celebration but also managed to sneak in some time in between to just get some wedding stuff done. Sent in the fabric for my solemnization attire to a boutique and got some other small details sorted out. I went home that night and double checked my list of things that needs to be done and realized that I've gotten most of it done. The best I can do now is just sit back and relax as I wait for my fitting sessions.

One thing that I have to admit that I've procrastinated long enough is sending in my scholarship documents. So I'm a scholarship receiver for my degree program and there's a requirement that I 'report' to the office with the relevant documents once I finish my studies. I finished in February. It's now end of June and I still haven't gotten my ass to the office. I really need to get that struck off my to do list.

Another thing that I've been putting on hold is going to the dentist. I'm not sure if I mentioned this in a previous post but I got a temporary tooth filling when I was in Indonesia with the Fiance which was done by my Fiance's cousin. Well that filling broke. Like a month ago. I've been putting off getting it fixed because I'm damn scared of the dentist but today I just knew that I couldn't put it off anymore and just picked up the phone, called the dentist that's nearby my place and made an appointment for tomorrow. I'm terrified. Sigh. But I gotta do what needs to be done because getting anything major done way too close to the wedding date is just hazardous and I dont want to risk any swelling or whatever on my wedding week. Wish me luck!

I've been thinking lately about setting up another blog. Something like a lifestyle blog. A platform where I would post up make up tutorials or skincare reviews or things like that. Just a little something to keep me busy on the side even after I get a full time job.

Speaking of jobs, I've been applying a few more positions here and there, and I'm still sitting and waiting to hear back from the places that I've applied. Pray for me people!

And that's all the updates that I've got for now. Ciao!
x's and o's

Unemployment, Renovations and Counting Months

Bonjour!

Hello ah-may-zing people! (coz we just left the month of May, geddit? No? Okay sorry for the lame pun, I've been getting rusty)

So came back from my Jakarta trip a couple of weeks ago, and most of the things that needed to be done is actually done. Had my final fitting for the groom's reception attire (super excited to wear a Sundanese traditional attire!), booked the homestay for my family during the reception, picked up the invitation cards for the groom's side, the future mother in law settled the catering details, and I also got the chance to sneak in a little bit of extra shopping. *wink wink* It was a pretty tiring trip given the fact that the second day we were there, it was the first day of Ramadhan. But the plus side of travelling during fasting month is that I was so busy running around getting things done, I didn't really have time to sit and anxiously anticipate the passing of time, waiting for iftar. It was actually a good distraction. The fact that I got to spend some extra quality time with the future mum in law and the Fiancé was a definite plus.

Latest update is that the house has been undergoing minor renovations. The plasters around the ceiling got polished and retouched, my room got a paint job, and the kitchen was also repainted. It was a pretty hectic and messy week last week with the dust and the paint, etc. It's done, for now. But there might still be some upcoming works to be expected. So my room now is basically a mess. I have been sleeping on the floor these past couple of days coz my bed got sent to my brother's house to make room for new furniture. I hope I can get a new bed by this week, I just need to find the willpower to get out of the house and go bed hunting. My clothes are also all over the place, I have them hanging of temporary hanger stands/portable closets because I'm waiting for my closet to be custom made. I know I should get things cleaned up but I figure I should just get everything done once all the furniture is in place so I won't have to keep packing and unpacking my stuff. But mom isn't happy with my so called idea so I guess I'll still have to clear out my clothes anyways.

Okay so these days I've been slightly restless. Well at least a tad bit more restless than I usually am. This whole situation of being unemployed with nothing much to do is actually tiring. Fine, maybe I'm over exaggerating. Its not like I've been doing nothing, period. Of course I've been getting wedding prep done like getting my orders for sticker and invitation cards settled, and sewing on the beads on my veil, and adjusting the hem of my dress, etc. But I mean something career wise. The solution sounds as simple as "get a job", right? Let me explain to you the complication in this situation.

We are approaching the end of May. The wedding will be at the end of September. That's approximately around 3+ months to go. What I am concerned with is that I don't wanna be that scumbag employee or chambee who starts working for a couple of months then applies days and days worth of leave. I know, how many days do I need to take off just for a wedding, right? Well, let me break it down. There's the reception on my side, which starts on a Friday and ends on a Sunday and you can't really expect a newly wed to actually immediately start work a day after her reception, right? Then the following week is the groom's reception in KK which falls on a Saturday but of course I'd need to take at least a day off before the event to relax and get final preparations in check. Then a month after that would be the groom's reception in Bogor, which means international traveling and we know how tiring that can be. Also, the reception is on a Sunday, which means more off days needed. And finally, my convocation which UiTM has yet released the dates for the graduation ceremony. At this point I am just praying that it doesn't clash with any of my wedding dates. Do note that I haven't even mentioned time off for a possible honeymoon and that's because I'm still considering the possibility of postponing the honeymoon due to certain reasons.

The second issue is that the place where I am currently living in and the place that I'll be moving to after the wedding is like on the opposite ends of the world. (yes, I am exaggerating but you get my point) The last thing I'd want to worry about is being posted at a place that's near to my house now and then struggling to get to work after the wedding if it's too far away from where I'll be moving.

So in short, jumping into a career really isn't the best option for now. But then again, I really can't guarantee that I'll be employed immediately after the wedding coz unemployment rates now are just over the roof and the numbers keep expanding. It is so hard to get a job these days.

I guess the plus side of this is that I get to really take my time in deciding what I really want to do and what career path I want to jump into. I can weigh all my options and compare the pros and cons. In all honesty, the Fiancé has made it clear that even if I chose to be a full time house wife, he would be fine with that but come on. Even as I type this I can feel my brain cells committing suicide as every second passes and I feel like I'm not doing something self fulfilling with my career life.

I have been considering taking more of an effort to polish my creative side. I feel like I'd like to restart my love of writing and maybe do something more than just mere rants on my blog. We'll see how that goes. In the meantime, I'll be anxiously counting down the days til I get hitched.

Until then, toodles. x's and o's

Off The Market

Bonjour!

Lets just try to ignore the fact that I have abandoned this dusty blog for far too long so I can skip the apologies and just get straight to the updates.

To start it off, one of the major differences that has happened since my last post was probably my relationship status. I am officially engaged and sometimes it still feels so surreal that I introduce the S/O as my Fiancé instead of my boyfriend. Never did I imagine I'd actually ever use the word "I" and "engaged" in the same sentence. But I guess it was just the right time to move forward and settle down. So now it's an estimate of less than 5 months til the wedding and I've been up to my neck with wedding preparations and it feels like even though I've been starting with the prep since November 2017, but there are still tons of things to do as the day comes closer. I have to say, I have been blessed with a Fiancé who has a lot of patience in dealing with my inner Bridezilla and a family who are more than helpful. Praying and hoping that everything will go well until the end of the countdown. Amin.

Another major change is that I finally ended my law school journey. Yes, people I am officially a Law Degree holder and after 4 and a half years, I finally crossed my finish line! So I spent the last month packing up my stuff in Shah Alam, loaded it all in my car and shipped everything back home. My car arrived in KK a week ago and I still have some unpacking to do. My unpacking process is taking longer than expected since my room needs to be cleared out for some minor renovations that dad wants to do before furnishing it for the wedding. So now I've been sending in my resume here and there, and what's left to do is wait for a response.

Moving on from major news, another thing that you can say I've been up to is some minor traveling. I say minor because it's more of a business travel than it is a leisure travel. I went to Jakarta & Bogor, Indonesia last March with my mom, the Fiancé, the future mom in law, future sis in law, and a family friend of the Fiancé. The reason for the trip was of course, wedding preparations. The future mom in law is Indonesian, originating from Bogor. Therefore, the upcoming wedding involves a reception back in their hometown. Aside from that, for the reception for the Groom's side in KK, they decided that the theme was going to be full on traditional so the trip was also so we could shop for a traditional Sundanese wedding attire. I'm going back to Jakarta sometime in the middle of May for a final fitting session and to pick up the dress. So that's another thing to anticipate. But I'm not gonna lie, this upcoming trip is gonna be difficult because it's during Ramadhan and traveling while fasting isn't something I'm familiar with. So lets hope for the best.

And that's pretty much it. I'll try to update more soon.

x's and o's

The Unknown

Bonjour!

and again, I've managed to put off publishing anything here for almost 2 months, is it? Well hardy har har to me and my repeated failed attempts of maintaining this darned thing but still needing it once in a while to declutter all the mess in this twisted mind of mine.

Lets move on to recent happenings.

So my engagement is in 9 days. Yes, I said engagement and yes, I said 9 days. never did I think that this day would come where I would put the words "my" and "engagement" in the same sentence. And I'm serious. I gave up on all things commitment and relationships 5 years ago or so and decided to focus on me and rid my life of men for good. And then I met my Future Fiance and all that trash talk about living my life without a man and all my plans that only involved "me, myself and I" went down the drain along with my ego. I can truly say I've been so blessed to be able to find love when I wasn't looking for it. I'd pour my heart out about the Future Fiance here, but I'll save that post for another day. Maybe after the engagement. We'll see.

Going back to the topic of the engagement itself, I've been back in my beloved hometown and I can honestly say my one month holiday was not wasted a single bit. I've been so busy with preparations that I didn't even notice how fast time passed by. I just realized how much more I need to do in terms of preparations. I've had friends ask me if I'm nervous or excited. Basically, those feelings haven't kicked in... yet. I am anticipating those emotions, but maybe I'll save them for a later day seeing as I can't afford to crash and burn now considering all the prep that still needs to be done. Hopefully I'll remember to update this blog with pictures. We shall see. *smirks*

Moving on heavier things....

My exam results came out a week or two ago and as expected, I failed another paper *sigh* But all is still good because 1, I'm used to that feeling of failed papers and 2, it was an anticipated failure. I failed my Criminal Procedure Code 1 paper which isn't a real surprise because I was personally struggling with it. The best I can do is try harder next semester and pass all my other subjects so I can make sure I graduate on time and start raking in the moolah (ka-ching!).

I am, however, starting to worry. Entering my final semester and still not a clue about what I'm gonna do with my life after graduation. To chamber or not to chamber. What other options do I have in the legal world aside from chambering? What's the procedure/path for me to get there? What if I wanna do something outside anything legal related? Oh gosh those questions haunt me in my sleep especially because I've been bombarded with those exact questions for the last few months. I've been avoiding burdening myself with these pestering questions but I know I can't dodge them forever. I'm gonna have to face them sooner or later, I'm just not sure when.

Other than that, life has been good. Life has been blessed. And I am thankful. I am beyond thankful.

xoxo